It kills me that I have to sit here day after day and live in perpetual boy mode because I was too lazy and too stupid to get a job when I really needed it. I have a job now, but it is one that took me 212 miles from the people I love and the life I built over the last two years. I am under-paid, under-stimulated, and just as miserable as I have ever been. My "sister" left today to spend the week in SanFran. I am so happy for her that she got to go, but at the same time it obliterates my soul to know that I'm not in a place where I can take trips whenever I want. I am uninspired and I don't work on things that matter to me. I am biding time until Laet'li can once again step out of the shadows and I can begin to once again live the life I started in Memphis.
I hope I can survive until May.
♥ ♥
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